Six Business Technologies That Don’t Work

Decades for a reason the introduction of private computing, there are too many enterprise technologies that don’t work. Oh, the hardware and software program corporations will inform you that they do. But they nevertheless do not get it. For instance, visit Microsoft’s aid website online and sort in “Microsoft Word Error” (leave out the quotes). I did this and got 2,380,000 results. Is this indicative of something running?

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Of direction, I’m now not being absolutely honest. Many of these results move again in time. Most are minor troubles or maybe because of my blend of search key phrases. And, aside from Windows Vista, Microsoft is a superb employer that makes desirable merchandise. All I recognize is thank God they don’t build airplanes. The hassle is that human beings in the era commercial enterprise seem to have a one of a kind definition of when something “works.” To me, when something works, it works all of the time.

For instance, we are likely the most straightforward circle of relatives in my county that doesn’t own a digital TV. We have a massive Zenith inside the living room that I offered extra than ten years in the past and it is…Great. Yes, I’m a cheapskate. But the component works! And without a doubt, do I really want to see a near-up of Kirstie Alley dancing the Flamenco? The equal is going for my refrigerator. It’s never failed me. Neither has any of the lamps in my house. Or my indoor plumbing. Or the smartphone. Or an episode of Seinfeld. Or a Whopper from Burger King. These things can be counted directly to work for me on every occasion I want them.

I want Itosay the same for my Tivo, which nan’t appear to file the right channel all of the time. Or my satellite tv for pc service from Sirius, which continually seems to move blank at the exact moment while Howard is about to say something funny. But these are annoyances. What’s more significant than a problem is when the technology that I’m using to run my business isn’t dependable or regular. In other phrases: when it does not work. And, in at least six instances, that is happening too often.

The Cloud. For example, cloud programs can be outstanding, however, the cloud remains now not an operating platform for many corporations both big and small. We have some customers who’ve outsourced their internal computers to agencies that offer t controlled cloud-based ttotalservice. It’s “OK,” says one purchaser who did not need to be named in this column. Just OK. That’s because, commonly, the performance is sluggish. It depends on the speed of the internet wherein human beings are and the time of day they’re trying to get something performed. Integrating packages via the layers of permissions has been challenging. There have been a couple of times in which offerings went down. In all instances, these customers muddled through the difficulty. But no person’s running faster due to it.

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The security and reliability of the cloud still would not work. Not when our most significant, maximum “trusted” agencies like Google, Sony, and Amazon are losing masses of heaps of emails, misplacing private security records, or going dark for hours and hours. Why do you observed maximum corporations inside the monetary services and healthcare industries aren’t running to the cloud? It’s because they’ve extremely sensitive data and they’re required, by means of law, to keep it that manner. Sure, cloud applications have a variety of capacities. The destiny for this generation looks bright. My employer sells some of those. And in positive instances, those answers are a high-quality alternative for plenty of companies. But if you’ve got a project vital, relatively touchy machine that you depend upon to run your enterprise, you are no longer shifting it to the cloud but. That’s due to the fact the cloud still doesn’t work.

IE9. I express regret if it seems like I’m picking on Microsoft right here. But Internet Explorer 9 would not work either. I should understand. I upgraded to Microsoft’s new browser about three weeks in the past. And days once I upgraded, I had to download Mozilla’s Firefox browser. Why? Because many websites were not running nicely with my new and stepped forward IE9. For example, the very blog that I’m now writing can no longer be uploaded through Forbes’ blogging gear as I should once I became the use of a preceding Internet Explorer model. Is this Forbes’ fault? Is this some configuration issue? I don’t know. Forbes makes use of WordPress, the popular running a blog platform. Particular portraits on different websites don’t appear effectively, if in any respect. Is this happening all the time? Of route no longer. For the most element, I’m surfing first-class using IE9. But I’m running into the show and overall performance issues that I should not be coping with on this overdue age of net browsers.

Google’s Apps. Does anyone get this one? I use Google Voice, and it seems that after I get about fifty voicemail messages, I can now not name in and retrieve them in order of when they had been received. So that doesn’t work. My BlackBerry’s Google Maps is slow as molasses and, on occasion, does not deliver me the proper function I need, so I still need to print out MapQuest directions after I pass on the road. So that doesn’t make paintings. Also, am I the best commercial enterprise owner who hasn’t discovered a way to use AdWords successfully? I recognize I’m no longer the brightest bulb within the bunch, however, I’ve attempted every key-word combination within the international and nevertheless cannot locate my agency anywhere when looking, although my balance of dollars receives depleted inexplicably. I’ve spent too much money and time trying to get this to work for me and have given up. Fail.

Skype Video. Skype Video doesn’t work for me either. Ever visible what I seem to like in my underclothes? It ain’t quite. Just ask any range of my children’s pals who’ve visual this traumatic image of me inside the background (and in crystal readability) while video-chatting on their MacBooks. My son also video-chats on his iPhone. The first-rate is first-rate. The performance is super. I’m a Windows man and darn it, I need to video chat with my clients too. So I do that the usage of Skype. And the result is…Meh. The photograph is grainy. The overall performance is terrible…Stilted, gradual, uneven. I’ve attempted this from many unique places and with several one-of-a-kind human beings. And the consequences are continually the same. Skype video is not so good as Apple’s video-chatting. Maybe I need to pay to apply for a better video carrier for my business. But why? Apple’s video chatting is free.

Printing. Amazingly, maximum workplace printers do not paintings either. My customers grumble about them all the time. Those new “wireless” printers mysteriously disappear from the network most effective to surprisingly re-seem minutes later. Where do they go? Even printers that can be tough-wired to a server now and then go AWOL for unknown motives. Anyone who gets the “printer cannot be found” message knows what I’m speak me approximately. We’re all used to rebooting servers and printers to clear out the print spool due to the fact, for reasons unexplained, one million print jobs get queued up and can’t be done. Paper nevertheless receives jammed, just like we’re nevertheless in an episode of Mad Men. And when those problems occur, the printers’ error managing procedures by no means appear to understand a way to deal with the mistake, ensuing in missing pages or incomplete jobs. We receive inferior printer technology like we accept rush hour site visitors and Piers Morgan. An important evil.

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Reports. After eighteen years of selling commercial enterprise software do you already know what trouble remains number one for most of my clients? Reporting. Software makers get all wrapped up in sexy new functions and features and masses of methods of doing the identical aspect that they seem to forget the maximum fundamental use of their products: most enterprise software applications are systems built around databases. And the information remains not entirely on hand.

Sure, a few providers include lots of reports with their merchandise. But God forbid if a company wants to create their own account. Or personalize a present record. Or want to get the right of information entry remotely from their cellular device. Or need to offer their clients the potential to retrieve order facts when they want. This may be carried out, but it nearly continually calls for dark magic. And the use of doors consultants. Maybe the product’s internal reporting tools may be jiggered. Or perhaps a 3rd birthday celebration reporting device (like SAP’s Crystal Reports) must be deployed. In any case, it is no longer accessible. It’s high priced. And the minute something changes, like an upgrade or a new reporting demand, the entirety breaks down. Reporting generation continues to be a mystery for most small agencies. The fundamental data is retrievable. But the essential evaluation, custom-designed for the agency’s maximum effective use, is not. This stuff still does not work.

Leah Leonard

Coffee expert. Troublemaker. Typical music guru. Friendly beer fanatic. Introvert. Web specialist. Uniquely-equipped for implementing bullwhips in Ocean City, NJ. Spent a year importing licorice in Hanford, CA. Have some experience licensing cigarettes for the government. Once had a dream of selling toy monkeys in Las Vegas, NV. Spent the 80's working on hula hoops in Minneapolis, MN. What gets me going now is working with action figures in the government sector.

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